Introduction to Self-Soothing in Babies
Every baby is unique, and while science gives us helpful trends, it’s essential to watch your baby’s individual cues and readiness. Research tells us that self-soothing skills develop gradually over time, typically between 4-12 months, with significant growth and individual variability.
Development of Self-Soothing Skills
Self-soothing begins for some infants between 4 to 6 months and increases through 12 months. This period often overlaps with the 4-month sleep regression, a time when sleep patterns shift, and new self-soothing skills may start to emerge. According to a study by Goodlin‐Jones et al. (2001), self-soothing develops gradually across the first year:
- At 3 months: Only about 17% of infants were self-soothers.
- At 6–9 months: Around 61% were able to self-soothe.
- At 12 months: Just 50% were self-soothers, meaning half of all one-year-olds still needed parental help to fall back asleep.
How Babies Self-Soothe
Self-soothing means that a baby is able to calm themselves either at bedtime or after a night waking, without needing a parent to intervene. This can look like:
- Thumb sucking
- Gently rocking or rubbing a comfort item
- Sucking on a pacifier
- Quiet fussing followed by resettling
These are small but powerful signs that your baby is developing the ability to regulate themselves, which can be supported through gentle, consistent routines.
Teaching or Helping Baby Self-Soothe
It’s possible to help your baby develop self-soothing skills without forcing it. The key is to put your baby down drowsy but awake, giving them the opportunity to practice this skill while still being lovingly present and responsive. Over time, they begin to understand how to fall asleep on their own, a skill that lasts a lifetime.
Sleep Aids & Self-Soothing
Research by Goodlin‐Jones et al. (2001) also found that self-soothers were more likely to use a sleep aid, like a pacifier, thumb, or lovey. Introducing a soft, breathable comfort item, paired with gentle support, can make a big difference once your baby is old enough, typically around 6 months.
Why Self-Soothing Matters
Self-soothing isn’t just about longer stretches of sleep; it’s also about healthier sleep-wake patterns. Babies who self-soothe have:
- Fewer night wakings
- Longer, more consolidated sleep
- Healthier sleep-wake patterns
This is the long-term goal of gentle sleep coaching: helping your child build healthy sleep habits for the future.
Conclusion
If your baby isn’t self-soothing yet, they’re not behind. These skills develop gradually, and every child is different. By introducing gentle routines that encourage self-soothing, such as consistent bedtime rhythms and drowsy-but-awake placements, you can support your baby’s development. Remember, it’s not about perfection—it’s about progress, one small step at a time. With patience and the right approach, you can help your baby develop the self-soothing skills they need for a lifetime of healthy sleep.